Fickle minds of the Gods
by AkiRen
Summary: She lay cold on the dirty ground,head cushioned by her upper arm, clothes dishevelled, exposing her small form to the whims of nature. 'Will he come for me' She thought as she silently recollected some of her lifes most precious moments.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own a single scrap of InuYasha the manga/anime etc.

Rumiko Takahashi and the companies supporting/distributing her work do.

I am merely borrowing her characters and putting them in impossible situations brought about with my twisted imagnation. Please do not sue me for I have not a penny to my name.

**A/N:**

I wish to Thank all fanfic authors out there. Your work is truly inspiring! :)

And Thank b_You_/bdear reader for your time

/Kelp in the Sea of Life, AkiRen

bi_**I Do Not Own Anything!**_/b/i

Title: Fickle Mind of the Gods

Date:2008-05-29

Author: AkiRen

Rating: -

Genre: Drama/Angst

A word of warning: I am a total novice (first fic! yey) and will take no responsibility for any mental damage my writing may cause. :P

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It was silent. Dreadfully silent. Eerie silent. Daylight was fading and the only sounds heard around the area was the gentle trickling of a nearby water stream mingled with slight rustles as the wind played catch with itself in the high grass and amongst the withering leafs in the surrounding trees.

She lay on the ground beneath the broad wooden veranda outside their chambers with her back towards the room facing the Koi pond they both loved so much. It was his place of quiet contemplation and meditiation and her place for quick remarks and naughty interruptions.

As he would keep staring down its depth for hours, silently following the movements of its inhabitants, she would laugh and tease him about his chosen spot to rest. Telling him his actions resembled more those of a playful, curious kitten than of the stoic, serious dog he was.

He would of course frown and reprimand her for her insolence towards his person which only caused her to laugh harder. That would usually coax him into 'informing' her that watching the fish as they swam amongst the water lilies made it easier for him to clear his mind and relax or something equally dry and uninteresting.

She'd continue to tease him by rolling her eyes at him for giving such superfluous information then hug him, or if opportunity gave sometimes even steal a kiss, Pacifying him and leaving him flustered while he resigned to his destiny with this 'impossible woman' as he put it was such a joy.

He was a serious man, her husband, full of responsibility heavy thoughts and not always easy to be with, but just as she had grown to love his pond and his time, she'd grown to love his silent resillience. Yes, she loved all parts of him, good aswell as bad. The only thing she could do without was his long periods away from her. Though it was necessary, his absence was sorely felt. It made her feel empty and lonely making her want to throw herself at him in tears at his every return but since he was not a man prone to show affection publically their small games served as a short cut to rekindling after long separations and was an acceptably innocent enough excuse for anyone who happend upon them.

i_This time perhaps the Kamis will be kind and permit him to return soon_/i, she thought as a breeze swept over her half dressed person reminding her of the late hour and pending darkness. Little by little it was growinng colder as the sun slowly set pulling out shadows and covering the surroundings in its beautiful evening light.

Her body was beginning to feel numb from its awkward position but too exhausted to move she remained where she was, at the entrance to their private gardens, with her dishevelled kimono spreading out behind her like the tail feathers of a peacock hiding the staircase underneath the lucious silk brocade.

It was her favourite dress for multiple reasons. Amongst them the reason, it was his first gift to her. Another one was that, when presented to her the otherwise silent and subtle man had talked about the reasons behind his choice. Letting her experiance one of those rare moments when he revealed his true gentle nature.

He'd told her that the soft colour contrasted well with her ebony locks making her hair look almost as if alive, which in turn enhanced the fire in her emerald eyes. He confessed that it was _that_ fire that had drawn him to her in the first place and then finally made him fall inlove with her. She had smiled and cried. It was a wonderful gift and an important memento of the first time he'd openly expressed how much she meant to him.

A faint smile graced her face while several other precious memories surfaced and subsided in her tired mind. All while another tear silently escaped through the corner of her eye then like its many predecessors of the evening stopped to collect for a moment at the ridge of her nose before lazily continuing its travel over it and down her cheek on the other side, eventually sliding off the ever pale-ing skin to mingle in the growing dark pool forming in the fabric covering the arm on which her head was resting.

As if nature somehow felt her melancholy and wanted to soothe her loneliness a little it decided to mimick the action of the little drop by having a single leaf fall from one of the Ginko trees in the garden.

Silently contemplaiting its decent she discovered it was getting increasingly difficult to fight off the stubborn need for slumber. It was relentlessly assulting her senses threatening to consume her. Even so she refused to give in just yet and continued watching from under heavy eye lids as the hand of gravity gently continued pulling the leaf down. It kept floating through the air for what, to her, felt like a small eternity before finally reaching the end of its journey settling like a miniature ship in the beloved pond, shattering the previously calm water surface. One of the Koi responded to the knock from above and momentarily revealed its speckled snout through what just moments ago had been a perfect reflection of the sky.

The golded colour of the small leaf turned her mind towards the approaching season. i_Autumn_/i, she mused.

They'd been married during autumn. At the time when the maple trees had been at their most splendind. The world had been amazingly colourful, as if looking at it through a kaleidoscope. It was hard to believe that it was almost that time of year again and only about a month until the start of their fourth year as mates.

i_Time perception, such a strange paradox._i

Her husband. /i_Her_/i Sesshoumaru.

Although he was the center of her existance now their time together had not been given effortlessly. Especially while the Kamis seemed more than reluctant to give up one of their favourite sons to a mere Ningen. They had not been lenient in their ways to demonstrate their discontent either, to say the least.

Divine meddling aside though, she /ihad/i been happy with him. To the extent, in fact, that she'd almost forgotten how difficult it had been in the beginning. It had taken them forever to understand the affection slowly growing between them.

A long time ago he'd even made an attempt on her life. On two occasions actually if one were to be picky on details. But in the end, all the obstacles they'd been forced to overcome had somehow served to strengthen their bond and deepen their love for each other rather than repelling them.

That however did not encourage the Kamis from discontinuing their harrassement. Kamis are well known for pulling mean tricks, being petty jealous and unkind after all and by being so, despite wishing differently, she knew now, that ending up in this fashion had for her, been inevitable. Human struggles against Gods would always i_be_/iand i_had_/ialways been futile and she /i_was_iafter all only human. She didn't feel resentful though because that would be pitiful and useless and she wouldn't stoop that low.

The wind rustled again and stirred part of her raven hair enough for some of it to land in her face. The thin ebony veil tickled her in an annoying kind of way so she tried lifting her hand in an attempt to remove the offensive strands. It was truly a bother having to move after lying in the same position for such a long time. Her limbs were stiff and she was tired but she forced herself all the same and brought the small appendage closer.

With the movement the honeycomb and cherry blossom decorations that outlined the hem of her kimono suddenly came into vision. The reason for the troublesome act was instantly forgotten. While watching the end of her long sleeve she felt a strong tug in her heart. It was the same pattern that adorned all of his clothes but only this one of hers, making it even more special. Another silent proclamation of his ever lasting love for her.

She watched mesmerized as if it was the first time she'd laid eyes on it them. Shakingly she brought the material to her lips and gently nuzzled the pattern. i_Soft, just like him._/i A new pair of tears formed in her eyes and fell over the edges, slowly running down her nose and cheek. She missed him terribly now and found herself wishing that the sleeve under her chin was his, not hers. She wished that she was resting on his warm chest and not on this cold dirty grass. She wished that the strands of hair in her face were not dull black but silver platinum and she wished the growing shadows surrounding her was from him cradling her in his embrace rather than the fortelling of the coming night.

After finally letting her hand fall the inches it took to have it land on top of the other next to her face she returned her slightly clouded gaze to look over the garden and the pond a last time, taking in as much as she could before locking on to i_that_/ispot, imagining him sitting there crosslegged by the water edge with the last rays of the decending sun in his back feeding the Koi while waiting for her to arrive so they could start their personal version of the game push and pull again.

She smiled at the beautiful mirage that was her husband and too tired to cry anymore she simply sighed.

With certainty that only people like her had she knew he wouldn't be in time to return before the dark.

i_It would've been nice if they'd been kind just this once though_/i she thought sadly before long lashes slowly came down to rest against the softness of her skin, sealing behind them fading emerald flames…

**A/N:**

This story came to me in a very realistic and oh so beautiful dream and I needed to somehow capture it's lasting impression. This is the result I hope you liked it and that I was able to sucessfully convey the bittersweetness I felt.

Again, **Thank You **for taking the time to share my first fic with me

/AkiRen


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